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Is The Husband The Boss Of The Wife?

Is the husband the boss of the wife? Well, first, what is a “boss”? Here is the dictionary entry for the word “boss” in the standard dictionary of American English:

1 : a person who exercises control or authority; specif : one who directs or supervises workers

2 : a politician who controls votes in a party organization or dictates appointments or legislative easures

{©1996 Zane Publishing, Inc. and Merriam-Webster, Incorporated. All rights reserved}.

In this dictionary entry, you will find the standard definition of the word “boss.” The standard definition is definition 1, first part (read above): A person who exercises control or authority.

So, the question is: Does the husband exercise control or authority over the wife?

The only one who can answer this question correctly is the Lord. He gives us the answer to this question in the Bible in Ephesians 5:22-25 (and elsewhere in the Bible):

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

In this passage, we read the words “submit,” “head of the wife,” and “subject.” Now, at first, it sounds like the husband does, indeed, exercise control or authority over the wife. But note that wives are not being commanded by their husbands in this passage. Wives are being commanded by the Lord. Thus:

The commandment of God is the boss of the wife, not the husband.

This is further borne out by the words “as unto the Lord.” Of course:
If the wife obeys the commandment of God, it will look like (appear that, seem to be that, create the illusion that) the husband is the boss of the wife.

Now, regarding the responsibility of the husband, the husband is not to simply order around his wife but, rather, to love his wife, which involves much, much more work than simply ordering someone around. As far as any “ordering around” is concerned, the Bible teaches that the husband may order around his wife if doing so is an expression of love. For example, a very simple example, if the husband commands his wife “Get out of the house!” because the house is on fire. Still, note that the wife’s responsibility is not to be bossed around by the commandment of the husband but, rather, by the commandment of God to obey the commandment of the husband. Even when the wife is ordered by the husband to do something, the husband is not the boss of the wife, the Lord is.

Michael J. Bisconti


Is A Husband Meant To Be The Boss Of His Wife?

After the fall, in Genesis, God said to Eve about Adam that, ‘he shall be your longing though he have dominion over you.’

This seems to be reiterated by Paul who said that women must be subject to their husbands.

They both seem to imply that the husband is to be the boss of his wife. This is not a politically correct notion in western society today, but social fashions aside, is the husband meant to be the boss of his wife?

It would probably happen if a strong willed man were married to an easy going woman, but what if it were the other way round, a easy going man married to a strong willed woman? There would be little chance of the wife being subject to her husband in such a marriage.

Perhaps the words ‘dominion’ and ‘subject’ have different meanings in these contexts to their usual meanings.

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2 Responses to “Is The Husband The Boss Of The Wife?”

  1. Said was wonderful, really the best site! Liked by the way best described 2011.

  2. “For example, a very simple example, if the husband commands his wife “Get out of the house!” because the house is on fire.” In this case the wife can order the husband around too if the house was on fire. Stupid example. Bottle line is the husband CANNOT order his wife around or vice versa. Selfish and insercure Christian men think they are entitled to have authority over there ways in any way possible. They will make crazy excuses and give pathetic example of what being the head means just to justify getting their way or to stroke their fragile egos. Focus on what God commands you and that is to LOVE your wife and NO it doesn’t mean you can ORDER her in love. The word order and love do not go together no matter how you try to glamorize it. Get over yourselves and stop writing articles on a wifes submission or a husband being the boss! Get your spirit right and you won’t focus on your selfish pleasures.


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