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Causes Of Conflict In Married Life

A strong marriage takes work and is not always a honeymoon. Even the healthiest of relationships occasionally descend to unpleasant conflict. The ability of each partner in a relationship to navigate through these conflicts is critical. Though causes of conflict in marriages are numerous, there are a handful of reasons that stand out above others.

The inability to regularly communicate is a common cause of marital strife. This includes the ability to voice concerns as well as a willingness to listen. A muted sense of intimacy may occur over time when communication channels are switched off. A lack of communication is arguably the most debilitating cause of conflict as no other problem can really be addressed without it.

Money is a common cause of conflict. Each spouse enters a marriage with an individual sense of how financial matters should be resolved. Examples include the spendthrift spouse married to a spending spree champion, couples with greatly differing salaries, and the marriage where a couple simply have differing life goals in relationship to finances.

Raising Children
Raising children can often create stress for mommy and daddy. Parents want the best for their children. Each spouse may have a very specific idea of what their child should be taught. A slight change in course can often result in couples not being able to maintain a united front. If compromises can not be made, this difference in vision can be a major disruption.

Sex often causes friction within a marriage. Outside issues that might influence sexual behavior in any relationship include past relationship patterns or prior abuse. Internal issues can include a loss of interest after being married for a long period of time, differing views on the expected frequency of relations, or using sex to manipulate a partner–by abstaining for example.

In-laws are a common source of conflict in marriages. When partners are first married, there is always a period of adjustment when interacting with a spouse’s family. Everyone is raised differently and miscommunication with in-laws, if not overcome, can lead to strife between partners as they learn to endure and discover ways to adapt to new family members.

• • • ♥ • • •

Are any of these conflict triggers in your relationship?

  • Toothpaste tube squeezed incorrectly?
  • Empty ice cube tray in the freezer?
  • Towels on the bathroom floor?
  • Hair clogging sink or shower or tub?
  • Checks not logged in check register?
  • Claiming total control of the TV remote?
  • Clipping toe nails in the living room?
  • Debris left in car?
  • Broccoli?
  • Empty salt shaker?
  • Empty milk container in frig?

The bottom line is that both you and your spouse have little buttons that can be easily pushed.

Once pushed, these buttons have the potential of creating conflict.

Seems silly to make a fuss over such small issues, but aren’t there times when you do?


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