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Marriage Life Tips

Make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser!

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SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES
To have successful marriages, you MUST have the following six components:

1) Appreciation and affection,
2) Commitment,
3) Positive communication,
4) Time together,
5) Spiritual well-being,
6) Ability to cope with stress and crisis.

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• SHOW YOUR LOVE
Don’t only tell your partner that you love them, but show it every day. Love is shown through little gestures such as holding hands, kissing on the porch, complimenting your spouse in public. Such acts show your love.

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• BEING THE RIGHT PERSON
A wise man once said, “Marriage is not so much finding the right person as it is being the right person.” If everyone would take this saying and make it a part of their life we would have better marriages and a better society.

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• HONESTY AND TRUST IN MARRIAGE
Honesty and trust are the foundation of a good marriage. If you don’t have trust, you can’t have love. This is the one place in your life, at least, that you should always be open and honest.

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• LEARNING PATIENCE
Patience is a virtue! Patience helps marriages. Often in our busy society we rush and rush to get things done. In marriages we often act the same way society does, we rush and rush until life is no fun [taking a line from Alabama’s song]. The best place to slow down is in marriage. This may require some patience due to the pace our society pushes us. But I recommend that we take time for talking, take time for sex, take time for an evening out, and take time to show your love. This isn’t really patience it is common sense.

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• GIVING YOUR SPOUSE A COMPLIMENT
Brag about your spouse to others, especially when they’re in ear shot. It will boost your spouse’s ego & they will want to continue making you happy & proud of them. Also, the other people will have more respect for them since you do too.

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• DISCUSSING WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND
If you don’t understand or like what your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it. And vice versa. Explore. Talk. Don’t assume.

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• MAKE A NORMAL DAY A SPECIAL HOLIDAY
Stimulate your marriage by creating a special holiday. This day can be once a month, or once a year. But make it your holiday. Celebrate your marriage on a day that isn’t unique to anyone else but you. This day shouldn’t be your anniversary either.

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• THE GREATEST GIFT
While most of us spend lots of money during the holidays and on our anniversaries (Christmas, Valentine’s Day), seldom do we consider what gift would really make a difference in our marriage. My suggestion is to give ourselves. How?
1) Show love in ways your spouse needs you to
2) Be happy
3) Give without expectation of return
4) Find ways to make your spouse feel special

Remember the greatest gift you give will always take time and will include love.

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5 Do’s
A) Create time just to be with your spouse
B) Listen without criticizing
C) Ask for ideas on how you can make your marriage better
D) Be willing to do the things you want your spouse to do
E) Smile often

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• PAINS OF PORNOGRAPHY
Pornography has become a big part of our society. More and more marriages are impacted by it. Many women have told me how pornography has impacted their marriage. In many instances, the women have been uncomfortable with their spouse’s use of pornography. I suggest pornography has a high likelihood of negatively impacting a marriage. I have found that many couples struggle with this issue. I have never heard a couple say that pornography has helped their marriage. Based on the negative feedback I have received, I have come to believe that marriages will be more positive if pornography can be eliminated from a marriage.

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• DAY TO DAY LIVING
In the day to day living in marriage, we are often least polite to the ones who need and deserve it most. Thank each other for the things you do, praise each other and never forget to say I’m sorry. These may sound like trivial things, but lack of them has broken many a marriage.

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• SENDING DOUBLE MESSAGES
A double message is a message that has two meanings that contradict each other. For example, if you are mad at your spouse and they ask if you are mad at them and your response is in a rough voice, “NO”. Your actions speak louder than your words. Double messages are hard to interpret and can hurt the marital relationship.

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• THE COMPROMISE
Marriage is a compromise. Be ready to compromise some of your wants for the sake of your partner`s wants.

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• SMILING
One of the best ways to value your partner is to show them by smiling at them and letting them know that they are of great value to you. Both men and women like it when their spouse smiles at them and tells them they love them. Further, look your spouse in the eyes and let them know they are the best.

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• A FEW NOTS THAT CAN TIE UP YOUR MARRIAGE
There are numerous habits that can hurt marriages:
A) Taking your partner for granted.

B) Not being there when they need you. Thus oh! he or she can wait, or it is not so important.

C) Not listening. Start paying attention to comments made. Listen to what the partner has to say and be compassionate.

D) Not sharing: many partners keep to themselves, they do not tell their mates what bothers them, problems at work, school and so forth.

E) Not spending time together: many partners do not do things together, they think the other may not be interested or will not participate because he/she does not care.

If partners do the above a lot will be resolved for a healthy and sustainable marriage.

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• MARRIAGE & FRIENDSHIP
Marry your best friend. He/she knows all the ins and outs of your life and accepts you anyway. What better person to spend the rest of your life with than someone who understands you. Always look for that friendship quality in the person and then let nature take its course. I married my best friend (26) years ago, we have taken licking but we are still going strong.

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• A FUN DATE IDEA
If you would like to have a fun date. Sit down and write 10 things that you like about your spouse. Then go out to dinner and share those ten things with each other over dinner. Then give your copy to your spouse for them to keep and read when things are not going so well.

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• ADDING SOME SPICE TO YOUR MARRIED LIFE
Variety is the spice of life. I feel that marriages become complacent. Both parties feel that the chase is over, and once the marriage takes place, they no longer need to try as hard. Each person takes the other for granted. This happens with couples that experienced great relationships while dating. You often see couples split up, and then get back together again. It’s the old you never miss the water till the well runs dry syndrome.
I think the marriage vow starts us off on the wrong foot with till death do us part. It should be that I will stay with you, as long as you keep improving, and our marriage continues to grow. No employer says that you have your job forever, as you would not be motivated to perform well. What motivates a married couple that feels that someone is stuck with them till death. Prepare for everyday as your first date, anticipate that if you’re lucky, you may have a sexual encounter. We always feel that the other party will be available to take care of our needs.

How can you add spice to your marriage today? I bet you know just think about it.

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5 Don’ts
Below is a list of five things that can hurt your marriage.

A) Avoid resolving problems
B) Hide your emotions and true feelings from your spouse
C) Criticize your spouse
D) Lie
E) Avoid creating fun memories together

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• FIND CONSENSUS IN YOUR ROLES
Couples that agree on their roles succeed in marriage. Marital satisfaction increases if the roles aren’t set in stone throughout the marriage. Couples who agree to be flexible and take the needs of their spouse into consideration find more satisfaction in the marriage.

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• A GIFT TO REMEMBER
Some gifts simply last longer than others. Sometimes we think that it is the tie or tool set that we give to dad that he remembers. In reality the best gifts that we give aren’t necessary material gifts they are gifts from the heart. Listed below is a short list of gifts that you can give to your loved one that can last a lifetime.

1) A letter apologizing for the things you did that may have hurt your loved one.

2) A poem written to your loved one expressing your love for them.

3) A picture book of your most favorite memories with them.

4) A gift or present that they wanted as a child but never received.

5) Spending a whole day with them instead of just one or two hours.

This is just a short list–If you have some other ideas that have been helpful to you and your loved one please email me and I will include them on this site.

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• AVOIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL GAMES
When one person in a conflict seeks to inflict a loss on the other–to establish a “winner” and a “loser”–the couple has entered a pattern of interaction that may be considered a psychological game. These games keep couples from becoming closer and prevent the resolution any problems.

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• TRUST
trust, trust, trust..if she says she feels like this way, she does, it’s not your fault, same goes for you..feelings are neither right nor wrong and trust each other in feelings as well as the relationship,(my hubby looks but I don’t get jealous, he comes home to me) jealousy gets you nowhere.

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• LEARNING TO EXPRESS YOUR ANGER
Every couple needs to trace the source of behaviors and attitudes, many of which turn out to have been handed down through their families of origin. Much unhappiness in relationships can be traced to the fact that one partner learned as a family rule never to express anger, or even perhaps happiness. Many people grow up learning to subjugate their own needs and feelings to those of others. Still the feelings influence present relationships, and until they can be brought into awareness and spoken, it is very difficult to improve current relationships.

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• UNDERSTANDING THE VALUE OF YOUR SPOUSE
Unfortunately, many people don’t recognize the value of their spouse until it too late. It is easy to slip into the comfortable stage of relationships where we take each other for granted. One way to avoid this mistake is to take time each day to think about how your spouse benefits you. Then share your thoughts with your spouse. Let them know how much they mean to you.

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